Excellence or Perfectionism

By Betsy Barbieux, CAM, CFCAM, CMCA / Published October 2024

The pursuit of excellence is admirable, but the pursuit of flawlessness can be detrimental to your mental health, well-being, and relationships. Perfectionism may or may not be a positive trait.

     Many people will confess to being perfectionists, but are they really? Or do they just strive for excellence? Let’s look at some differences.

Excellence—

• Focus on the process—Striving for excellence is about continuous improvement and learning, enjoying the journey, and finding satisfaction in the effort.
• Realistic goals—While aiming high, excellence involves setting achievable goals that contribute to overall growth.
• Embracing mistakes—Errors are seen as opportunities for learning and improvement.
• Balance and well-being—Excellence is about finding a balance between personal and professional life.
• Internal motivation—The drive comes from a genuine desire to be the best version of oneself.

Perfectionism—

• Focus on the outcome—Perfectionists are primarily concerned with the end result being flawless, often at the expense of the process.
• Unrealistic expectations—Perfectionists set impossibly high standards that are often unattainable.
• Fear of failure—Mistakes are seen as personal failures, leading to anxiety and procrastination.
• Impaired relationships—Perfectionists can be demanding and critical, straining personal connections.
• External validation—Often driven by the need for approval and recognition from others.

     Excellence is about striving for your best, while perfectionism is about an unrealistic and often harmful pursuit of flawlessness.

     While many will confess to being perfectionists, to others of us, they do not seem to be. Are there different types of perfectionists?

Demanding Perfectionism

     The perfectionist is focused on setting unrealistic expectations for others. They will have expectations of how other people should behave, think, or perform and will destroy a relationship. It involves constant criticism and judgment and may often produce anger. They have difficulty delegating, building relationships, and compromising. Failing to see their own shortcomings may come from a shame-based identity that forces them to look outside at others’ performance.

Social Perfectionism

     This perfectionist believes others have high expectations for them. They strive to meet perceived standards that most people don’t actually have of them. These presumptions produce fear of rejection, often to the detriment of their own well-being. They may have difficulty saying “no” because they fear disapproval and rejection.

Classic Perfectionism

     Classic perfectionists are highly organized and detail oriented. They have a strong preference for order and structure, like black/white thinking, and have difficulty adapting to sudden changes to plans. They seem unsociable because of their intense focus on the tasks. The need for control, rigidity, and inflexibility may be caused by fear of failure.

Procrastinator Perfectionism

     This type of perfectionist wants to please and will avoid starting tasks until they know your standards. Once they learn your standards, they will perform flawlessly and consistently. They often procrastinate until the last minute, leading to increased stress and anxiety. While they want to do the task right the first time, they stall for fear you will not be pleased. This could lead to low self-esteem or a fear of punishment.

The Quiz

     Take the quiz. There are no right or wrong answers; be honest with yourself.

Instructions: Rate each statement on a scale of 1–5:

1 = Strongly disagree
2 = Disagree
3 = Neutral
4 = Agree
5 = Strongly agree

1. I often compare myself to others and feel like I am not good enough.
2. I have difficulty making decisions.
3. I have high expectations and standards for others.
4. I tend to procrastinate on tasks.
5. I set high standards for myself and am critical when I don’t meet them.
6. I find it difficult to accept compliments.
7. I have trouble delegating tasks.
8. I am afraid of making mistakes.
9. I strive for perfection in everything I do.
10. I do not have work-life balance.

Scoring:

Low Perfectionism—A total score of 15 or below suggests a low level of perfectionism.

Moderate Perfectionism—A score between 16 to  25 indicates a moderate level of perfectionism.

High Perfectionism—A score of 26 or above suggests a high level of perfectionism.

     Note: This quiz is a general assessment tool and should not be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis. If you are concerned about your level of perfectionism, consider seeking help from a mental health professional.

     Striving for excellence should produce satisfaction, joy, and work-life balance. Perfectionism of any type can become a slave master, leading to anxiety, depression, burnout, and physical symptoms such as headaches and insomnia. Additionally, it can hinder relationships, career success, and overall life satisfaction.

     If you think you may be a perfectionist, try to treat yourself with kindness, set realistic goals, break down large tasks into smaller ones, pay attention to your negative self-talk and learn how to replace it with positive affirmations, seek professional help, learn to enjoy the present moment, and don’t focus on the past failures or future worries. 

Betsy Barbieux, CAM, CFCAM, CMCA

Florida CAM Schools

     Betsy Barbieux, CAM, CFCAM, CMCA, guides managers, board members, and service providers in handling daily operations of their communities while dealing with different communication styles, difficult personalities, and conflict. Effective communication and efficient management are her goals. Since 1999 Betsy has educated thousands of managers, directors, and service providers. She is your trainer for life! Betsy is the author of Boardmanship, a columnist in the Florida Community Association Journal, and a former member of the Regulatory Council for Community Association Managers. Subscribe to CAM Matters^TM at www.youtube.com/c/cammatters. For more information, contact Betsy@FloridaCAMSchools.com, call 352-326-8365, or visit www.FloridaCAMSchools.com.